Rajesh Kumar

Things to say, things to think

Building the Connection

04 Jul 2011

Sometimes, I wish some of the really cool people I know would just let me into their life and permit me to be a fly on the wall there. But of course, I have no clue how to get started. I could always make small talk, but I hate small talk, and I don't particularly have anything to talk about. At least not just yet.

Naturally, the super egotist in me wants to think there might possibly be people who feel the same about me. So assuming they exist, and assuming you are one of them because I like talking in the second person rather than the third, how do you get started?

Step 1 couldn't be simpler: Don't add me on Facebook. Don't poke me on Facebook. Don't call me. Don't text me. Worst of all, don't add me on gtalk. I'm just going to respond with a simple "who are you?" and that isn't a very classy start at all. And whatever you do, definitely don't try to "connect" with me on LinkedIn. That's just childish.

Instead, send me a private message on Facebook. Be brief. Tell me who you are, if I know you already, and why you'd like to get to know me. What's so interesting about me? Are you my fan? Is there something I can help you with? Is there someone I know that I can connect you with? Did you read this blog post before messaging me?

If you like my blog, don't just say you like it. Tell me why. Tell me which posts specifically left an impression? This info gives you more meaning and personality, and additionally, helps me understand you better.

If you're feeling really daring and adventurous, or if you don't use Facebook, you can even email me. You don't really have to be that formal though. I'm a pretty low key guy, and have almost 0 expectations of strangers unless I'm paying them.

If you already have me on Facebook, then ping me on Facebook chat whenever. I'm online 100% of the time I'm not in transit. I'm always signed in via Pidgin. And I reply 100% of the time I'm in front of my laptop. Most of my friends keep in touch with me using this medium. But the upper echelon of this crowd has been promptly promoted to using gtalk, a more reliable and robust medium for everyday instant messaging.

And that's it. If there's sparks between us via Facebook messaging or chat, we can move the conversation to gtalk. I'm not afraid of strangers. I have a ton of good friends, both male and female, whom I've never met in person before. You could be the next.

I wish more people would make a post similar to this describing how to best make a connection with them, because that would definitely make my life a lot easier and certainly a lot more interesting.

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